You might have heard of couples getting together for “cuffing season,” during the coldest months of the year. But planning to break up right after? That’s a tough pill for anyone to swallow.
There’s a name for this behavior— “sledging.” It’s another harmful dating trend to add to the growing list of horrors such as ghosting and catfishing. Sledging refers to the act of intentionally staying in a relationship through the winter months to avoid being single, only to break up afterwards.
A survey by dating app Happn found that around 75% of sledgers break up in November, while 25% plan to do so after Christmas. The trend was most commonly observed among Gen Z participants aged 18-25.
While breakups are difficult for any couple and in any season, they can be uniquely painful for someone who has been “sledged.” Here are two reasons why sledging can heighten the grief of a breakup.
1. The Post-Holiday Highs Make Breakups Feel Worse
One reason for sledging is to introduce someone to family and friends during the holiday season, allowing them to avoid uncomfortable interrogations about being single. But, this is not the best course of action for someone seeking a long-term connection.
Research shows that people who live together or plan to marry experience larger drops in happiness after a breakup, highlighting how deeply intertwined our relationships and future expectations can be.
Imagine meeting your partner’s family for the first time during Christmas and truly connecting with them—sharing humor, values and warmth—only to never see them again. When the relationship ends, it feels like losing not just a partner, but also a family, and the potential future you had with them. Writer Sophia Reichert captures this pain perfectly:
“Losing your ex’s family during a breakup can be an extra amount of grief you didn’t expect, a jarring type of pain. In my case, I lost a fantastic family, who accepted me when I felt my most vulnerable.”
The holiday season is also filled with festive cheer and feelings of togetherness. What appears to lie ahead is a new year rife with unlimited potential. The sudden disconnection and grief of a breakup is the last thing you may expect, leading to a sharp decline in mood and well-being.
2. Breakups And Seasonal Affective Disorder Aren’t A Good Mix
While sledgers may seek companionship in the winters, they might not realize the impact their actions can have on someone experiencing seasonal depression. If you’re dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the timing of a breakup could significantly worsen your mental health.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that occurs at specific times of the year, typically during the fall and winter months when there is less natural sunlight. It goes beyond feeling down or experiencing “winter blues” and is recognized as a serious depressive disorder. SAD symptoms include fatigue, irritability, hopelessness and difficulty concentrating—all of which can amplify the emotional distress of a breakup.
If you’re experiencing this, the same things that help with SAD could also help you recover from a breakup. This includes getting your daily dose of sunlight, socializing, eating nourishing food, engaging in mindful movement and speaking with a mental health professional. Try to avoid harmful practices like regularly drinking alcohol which may exacerbate depression symptoms.
Sledging might seem easier for the person initiating the breakup, but it can deeply affect the other individual. If your feelings have changed, it’s essential to address the situation with honesty, respect and immediacy, no matter the time of year. Being upfront, though challenging, helps prevent additional pain caused by bad timing or a sense of betrayal.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of sledging, it’s important to acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to grieve the relationship, but also remember that this chapter does not define your future.
Feeling upset is natural, and it’s okay to take the time you need to heal. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, focus on activities that bring you joy and remind yourself that every ending creates space for new beginnings, and that even the coldest winters can pave the way for brighter summers.
Has being sledged deeply affected your mental health? Take the science-backed Breakup Distress Scale to find out.
