In the 1998 movie The Wedding Singer, one of the characters Sammy explained, “What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.” Well, there’s a TikTok trend and hashtag, #probablyneededahug, that’s sort of in line with that. People have been posting videos using the catchphrase “probably needed a hug” to show times when they probably needed said hug but instead ended up getting or doing something else. Many of these video posts have Adele’s “Hometown Glory” blaring as background music and do highlight the glory of the warm embrace. They also do shed some more light on how people are doing in their hometowns and everywhere else these days.
Examples Of ‘Probably Needed A Hug’ Posts
The hug replacements in the TikTok videos do range from the simple to the sensitive to the satirical to the sarcastic. Some of the videos have showcased stuff that people are doing to bring themselves comfort and joy like traveling, dancing, running or shopping, the last of which should make many businesses smile. For example, it looks like @amayacrichton got something to “matcha” her mood, so to speak, here:
Another example from @theogsnail was very bunny:
Alternatively, there were those hug-alternatives that seemed to bring some “pressions,” not impressions but more like suppression or repression of what people really wanted. For example, @fiftyshadesofmomlife stated that she probably needed a hug “but put on fake smile instead and continued pretending I was OK,” here:
Others followed the “probably needed a hug” catchphrase with things like “detached and learnt to never need someone else instead” and “doesn’t like talking about her feelings so always pretends that everything is OK.”
What The ‘Probably Needed A Hug’ Trend Says About Hugs
This just in: people tend to like hugs. That’s as long as it isn’t a bear hug to keep them away from their smartphones. Hugs can make you feel closer to someone else. After all, you you kind of have to be in close physical proximity to hug each other unless it is one of those fake “air hugs.” Plus, when you hug someone, you tend to do so in an affectionate manner with other accompanying signs of affection, rather than saying, “I am going to knock all your teeth out as soon as we are done this hug.”
Moreover, studies have shown hugs to be associated with increased levels of oxytocin, the so-called “cuddle hormone,” in your blood. Oxytocin is a chemical messenger that originates in your hypothalamus and remains stored in your posterior pituitary gland, until it is ready to be released into your bloodstream. Since your hypothalamus and pituitary gland are located in your head in your brain and oxytocin is also one of the so-called “happiness hormones,” it can be accurate in a way to say that happiness is all in your head.
Oxytocin can play a range of different roles in your body. For example, it can help your uterus contract during labor and childbirth and your breasts produce milk. But that doesn’t mean that you have to have a baby to benefit from the secretion of oxytocin. This chemical messenger seems to play a key role in the whole recognition-trust-bonding-attachment thing. For example, a study published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology found new lovers tended to have higher blood oxytocin levels than singles. Moreover, oxytocin levels were higher among those in relationships with higher versus lower amounts of affection and reciprocity. Other studies have shown that higher oxytocin levels correlate with drops in blood pressure and levels of the stress hormone norepinephrine.
There are also studies that have shown how hugs can be protective against things like fear, pain and illness. For example, a study published in the journal Psychological Science found that people who reported getting more hugs were less likely to have had upper respiratory illnesses. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should replace vaccinations and hand-washing with hugs. But it does suggest that one’s susceptibility to infection could be associated in some way with social support or the lack thereof.
What The ‘Probably Needed A Hug’ Trend Says About Society Right Now
With all of the above, the question then is how many people these days are actually getting all the hugs that they want or need. I’ve written in Forbes in 2018 and again in 2023 about how loneliness has been a major, growing and under-addressed problem since the 1980s. When he was the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy. MD, MBA, published in May 2022 a report entitled, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community” The report provided a lot of evidence that people are feeling less and less socially connected with others nowadays. And in this case, socially connected doesn’t refer to the number of followers you have on social media or the number of likes that the post of you dropping heavy items on your foot got on TikTok.
This may be leaving a lot of people wanting true real-life social connection but then having to suppress or repress that desire because they feel like only skeletons are around, with “no-body” around to hug, so to speak. Suppression is when you consciously bury a desire, feeling or need. Repression is when you unconsciously do so. Both are not great ways to proceed in the long run. Burying your true feelings can be like having your cat do your taxes. Sure, your cat may look rather nonchalant about it. But who knows what problems may emerge in the future.
So, while the “probably needed a hug” trend might be offering some interesting and neat things to do for fun and entertainment, many of these cannot truly replace genuine human connection like a hug.
