Public discourse around toxic masculinity reached a fever pitch in October 2017 due to the Harvey Weinstein scandal. According to a Vice article, Google searches for “toxic masculinity” surged by 50 percent in its aftermath, making Weinstein the symbolic embodiment of this oppressive form of manhood—that glorifies sexual conquest, violence and domination. While the case has fallen off the media radar, toxic masculinity and the conversation around it persists.
A recent study published in Social Science and Medicine, however, might serve as a beacon of hope. In a subtle but pleasant turn of events, the study picked up a shift from traditional masculinity to a more inclusive and empathetic masculinity being embraced by many. The study identifies three primary types of masculinity:
- Neo-traditionalist, characterized by adherence to traditional norms, enforces typical gender roles. Historically, commonly depicted traits of traditional masculinity include dominance, aggression, sexual promiscuity and emotional unavailability. This type of masculinity adheres to conventional male roles, taking on the duties of being the provider and protector in a relationship.
- Egalitarian, on the other hand, entails a man actively seeking a more balanced partnership, stressing mutual contributions and a harmonious give-and-take dynamic. According to a study, men who embrace these “egalitarian narratives” present themselves as forward-thinking, compassionate and respectful towards women, setting themselves apart from stereotypical male traits. While these men actively position themselves as advocates of equality and respect, the third type takes it a step further.
- Progressive masculinity places a premium on fairness, social justice and an awareness of privilege by operating based on the principles of equity rather than mere equality. Equality involves treating everyone the same, while equity recognizes and addresses individual needs and circumstances to ensure fairness. In this context, men concentrate on establishing gender equity within the partnership through regular and purposeful discussions with their partner to review and adapt roles and responsibilities.
Examining the evolution of masculinities within heterosexual intimate partner relationships since the 1980s, the study sheds light on the challenges and opportunities presented by each masculinity type.
In summary, here are three areas where different types of masculinity impact intimate partner relationships.
1. Division Of Roles
Traditional masculinity, in retaliation to societal change, emphasizes a return to conventional norms. This masculinity type reinforces traditional values, associating men with provider and protector roles, while confining women to roles of nurturing and caregiving. In intimate relationships, this often translates to a rigid and stereotypical division of labor—men are expected to fulfill the roles of primary breadwinners and protectors, while women are assigned domestic responsibilities.
Not only does a traditional set up impede individual growth and role adaptability, it can also lead to a dead bedroom. A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior proposes that an imbalanced allocation of household chores may account for diminished sexual desire in women. The authors Emily Harris and Sari van Anders emphasize that attempts to address women’s low sexual desire through interventions like medication, testosterone, stress reduction or mindfulness therapy may be inadequate as such approaches overlook broader factors, including gender inequities, as significant contributors to the issue.
In contrast, progressive masculinity challenges and transforms these traditional gender roles, advocating for a more flexible and equitable distribution of responsibilities. Within the context of intimate partnerships, progressive masculinity urges partners to explore and allocate responsibilities based on their individual strengths and preferences rather than adhering to predetermined societal expectations. This shift fosters a dynamic and responsive environment within relationships, promoting a more inclusive and personalized division of labor.
2. Communication Styles
A 2021 study aids in comprehending gender differences in communication, highlighting the distinct ways in which women and men engage in conversation and provides a clear understanding of the masculine rhetoric prevalent in traditionalist masculinity.
The study’s findings suggest that traditional men tend to adopt an action-oriented approach, potentially causing friction in communication dynamics. Additionally, they communicate to assert dominance, in contrast to women who gravitate towards a more relationship-oriented communication style. This hierarchical communication style where a partner assumes a dominant role in decision making, leads to potential power imbalances within intimate relationships, impeding collaboration and understanding between partners.
Progressive masculinity transforms tonal choices and refines vocabulary, and ultimately vies for collaboration in communication by flipping the traditionalist male rhetoric on its head. It does so by:
- Balancing logic with emotionality
- Replacing aggression with politeness
- Choosing receptivity over authority
- Exercising subjective interpretation instead of rationalization
The communication style used by the progressively masculine cultivates a more inclusive, empathetic and understanding approach that transcends traditional constraints, contributing to healthier and more adaptive intimate partnerships.
3. Emotional Expression
Traditional masculinity imposes restrictions on emotional expression, compelling men to conceal vulnerability. This approach creates an environment where emotional expression, particularly vulnerability, is viewed as a sign of weakness. Consequently, this may lead to emotional distance, resulting in a lack of intimacy within the relationship.
A 2019 study investigating expressions of masculinity among young men aged 20 to 29 in Australia found that men are distancing themselves from traditional, more rigid expressions of masculinity. Instead, they exhibit a willingness to embrace softer masculinity, particularly in the contexts of their work lives and friendships, suggesting a degree of openness to alternative and more fluid gender roles.
This is consistent with the concept of progressive masculinity mindset that thrives on the sharing of emotions and motivates both partners to actively strive for mutual understanding and emotional support. Progressive masculinity surpasses traditional limits by facilitating discussions about privilege and mental health, thereby enhancing a deeper and more authentic connection between partners.
The juxtaposition of traditional masculinity and progressive masculinity highlights a significant transformation in the dynamics of intimate partner relationships. Traditional masculinity, with its inherent rigidity, tends to uphold limited emotional expression, while progressive masculinity actively challenges these norms. As such, the shift towards more progressive ideals holds the potential to nurture relationships that are more gratifying, supportive and equitable partnerships in the evolving landscape of the 21st century.
