When you think of what makes a person attractive, what comes to mind? Is it their eyes, their smile or their body type? Perhaps it’s the way they dress or carry themselves that catches your eye.
You may also be drawn to something less physical, like their intelligence or humor. However, according to a study published this September in the British Journal of Social Psychology, these traits pale in comparison to one other—kindness.
Here’s how researchers Natalia Kononov and Danit Ein-Gar discovered that this single, highly unassuming personality trait leads to being perceived as more attractive than others.
How Kindness Makes You More Attractive
The inspiration for the study was simple. “Often, we use beauty metaphorically to describe admirable inner qualities, saying someone is ‘beautiful on the inside,’” explains lead author Natalia Kononov, in an interview with PsyPost. She continues, “I was curious to see if this perception has a basis in reality.”
The researchers were most interested in “Whether kindness and generosity, qualities associated with inner beauty, actually influence how we perceive someone’s physical attractiveness,” Kononov explains. To empirically test whether inner beauty indeed outshines its outer counterpart, they conducted ten studies with 4,192 participants.
Specifically, they explored how “prosociality”—that is, the tendency to act in ways that benefit others—influences beauty evaluations. In the initial studies, participants rated the kindness and physical beauty of targets who were described either as volunteering for charitable causes (such as volunteering at soup kitchens, or packaging food for the needy) or as neutral.
In later studies, they tested whether consistent prosocial behavior, as a stable trait, was more impactful than a single prosocial act, or none at all. They also compared prosociality with other desirable traits, like humor and intelligence, to see which influenced perceived beauty most.
One study even used photos of the same person—modified to include either a scar, misaligned teeth, thicker eyebrows or a mole—and tested whether prosocial descriptions enhanced beauty ratings, regardless of physical features.
The findings were consistent across the board—prosocial behavior gave rise to higher ratings of physical attractiveness. As Kononov concludes, “Our findings suggest this association isn’t just metaphorical; beautiful acts do, indeed, lead us to see people as more beautiful.” Most interestingly, Kononov noted that this association was also consistent across genders too.
These findings make it abundantly clear that kindness and generosity are unprecedented in their allure, not just for those who receive them, but also for the way others perceive you. While physical appearance often feels like the most visible marker of attractiveness, this study reminds us that what truly captivates others comes from within.
The good news is that you don’t need grand gestures to make a meaningful impact. Everyday actions, so long as they are grounded in kindness, allow your inner beauty to shine.
Here are three simple yet wholesome ways to express more kindness in your daily interactions, according to research.
1. Random Acts Of Kindness
Think about the last time someone surprised you with a small, unexpected act of kindness. Perhaps it was a stranger who let you cut in line when you were in a hurry, or a friend who left you an encouraging note on a tough day. These moments—despite how seemingly minor they appear—will almost always leave a lasting impression due to how authentic and heartfelt they are.
Engaging in random acts of kindness—whether it’s paying for someone’s coffee, leaving a generous tip or simply complimenting a stranger—communicates how attuned to the world you are.
The beauty of this is that kindness is often contagious; your one small good deed could unwittingly inspire so many others. A 2023 study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General confirms this; the authors note that kindness goes “an unexpectedly long way,” as we often underestimate how heartwarming these acts are for those on the receiving end.
Above all, Kononov and Ein-Gar’s research demonstrates that kindness can fundamentally shift how people view you, by adding profound depth and warmth to others’ perception of your character. The key is to let these gestures happen naturally—with no expectation of recognition—as true kindness shines brightest when it’s freely given, in liberal doses.
2. Helpfulness
Helping others is one of the most potent ways to express inner beauty. Offering to support someone—be it a friend struggling with a task, a neighbor who needs a hand or a colleague overwhelmed with work—signals that you’re dependable and emotionally generous.
This isn’t to say that you need to fix everyone’s problems for them, or that you need to overextend yourself for others’ sake. Rather, it’s more so about indicating to others that, no matter when or why, you are a person who can at least be approached to lend a helping hand when you’re able to, and that you genuinely care about easing someone else’s burden.
Research from the British Journal of Psychology suggests that altruism also gives rise to trust and admiration—qualities which are deeply tied to attractiveness. The next time someone hints at needing assistance, take it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, while also letting your kindness speak for itself. Even small acts, like sharing advice or lending a tool, can make a big difference.
3. Cooperation
Cooperation may not be the first thing that comes to mind when we think about kindness, but it’s a powerful way to let your charm shine. When you work collaboratively, whether it’s within a team at work, while planning an event with others or even during a game night with friends, you showcase patience, empathy and a willingness to listen.
Research shows that cooperative individuals are seen as approachable, trustworthy and emotionally intelligent. This is because cooperation requires putting aside one’s ego and prioritizing collective goals over personal ones, which is another quality that naturally draws others in.
If you find yourself in a group setting, make it a point to be the person who contributes to harmony; always vie to make note of others’ contributions and offer solutions when challenges arise. People are naturally attracted to those who make working together a positive and productive experience, and this perception of kindness will elevate how they see you.
When you do good, you look good—but you also feel good, which may be the most important of all. Relationships thrive when we connect with others based on who we are, and when we can look in the mirror and truly like what we see, inside-out.
Humor goes a long way in displaying kindness and connecting with others. Take this science-backed test to find out if your humor style favors attraction and affiliation: Affiliative Humor Style Scale
