According to a 2025 report by Holiday Calendar, February 21st is National Breakup Day. This day is usually recognized on the Friday after Valentine’s Day, and the intent is for individuals to assess their relationships and make positive changes. This day also encourages people to let go of past relationships and to move away from current relationships that aren’t working.
A sense of rejection is usually experienced after a romantic breakup, and it’s important for college students to learn how to effectively cope with rejection. Of critical importance is the fact that rejection is often associated with suicidal ideation. A 2025 study in the Journal of BioMed Central Public Health found that 30.8% of suicidal thoughts occurred immediately after a rejection, and that 46.2% of those with suicidal thoughts reported feeling rejected. In general, the ability to cope with rejection is an important interpersonal skill that varies from person to person. A 2023 report by the University of Rochester Medical Center discussed the concept of Rejection Sensitivity, which is the degree in which a person perceives, assumes, and reacts to rejection. Those high in Rejection Sensitivity often experience high levels of anxiety about the possibility of being rejected.
Most people are sensitive to rejection to some extent, but the ability to cope with rejection, especially romantic rejection, can be improved upon. Improving the ability to cope with rejection includes learning how to cope with intrusive thoughts, boundary issues, and painful emotions.
Coping With Intrusive Thoughts After A Rejection.
A 2024 report on Neurosciencenews.com indicated that intrusive ruminations can alter the brain’s response to social rejection. It’s natural for college students to ruminate about a rejection, even more so if the rejection was a surprise. Ruminations often reflect attempts to understand why the rejection occurred, but they might also reflect denial that the relationship is over. Either way, ruminations are impulsive thoughts, and the antithesis of impulses are intentions. Thus, one way to reduce intrusive ruminations is to engage in intentional reflection about the rejection.
It’s often helpful for students to schedule times to ponder the rejection. Thus, when intrusive thoughts come during the day, students can tell themselves that they’ll think about it later. Engaging in the process of intentional reflection involves thinking about things that are useful to think about. For example, pondering what to tell mutual friends about the break-up, developing a rehearsed speech in case the student runs into the former partner, and being honest about the negative aspects of the relationships are all important factors to consider. Furthermore, the process of intentional reflection slows one’s thoughts and helps people avoid dwelling on self-critical tangents.
Coping With Boundary Issues After A Rejection
A 2024 report on HelpGuide.org discussed the importance of appropriate boundaries in relationships; however, establishing appropriate boundaries is vital following rejections. It’s not uncommon for students to attempt to undo the rejection. Afterall, a relationship was taken away from them. But these attempts are often impulsive and violate their personal spaces and dignity. For example, a post last week on Frobes.com examined the hook-up culture in young adults and explained that hooking-up focuses more on immediate experiences than future outcomes. The same is true for many students wanting to win back a partner who has already been rejecting. The future outcome of this dynamic is likely to be negative.
Students struggling with setting boundaries might do things that they’ll reject, which only increases the struggles with rejection. In reality, students who have been rejected still have to decide to move on from the relationship. This may seem unappealing to some, but reframing the alternative as pursuing someone who has already been rejecting is even more unappealing. This reframe can be an important guide to establishing appropriate boundaries. Furthermore, many students tend to overlook the character that was shown by the partner (or lack thereof) during the rejection.
Coping With Painful Emotions After A Rejection
A seminal 2011 report published by the Proceeding of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that rejection is processed by the brain in a way that resembles physical pain. Many students want to distract themselves from experiencing the emotional pain of rejection. Not only is this problematic, but it’s also results in students feeling stuck. Emotions are meant to be acknowledged, experienced and processed. Actively coping with emotions allows feelings to evolve and become less intense with time. Many students can naturally develop an active coping plan in response to rejection, but they need the motivation to implement this plan. Part of this motivation is understanding that processing emotional pain can result in emotional healing.
Coping with rejection is an important skill to develop for college students. Though struggles may become greater for a student to address alone, many campuses have students counseling centers, and it’s not uncommon for students to seek therapy after experiencing rejection.
